Being that I'm looking for my first cc pistol pretty soon here I thought I'd throw in some input, although I see you're not looking for a conceal gun. I'd go with the 9mm though. 9 seems to be cheaper and more common. Plus it's a military caliber, so lets say shtf.... Lots of military stock.... Lol.
There's always that debate on "stopping power" and ballistics and all that crap, but unless the guy coming at you is on bath salts or some other drugs that first shot is likely gonna stop em. No one wants to get shot. Many crimes are halted by just drawing and displaying a firearm. If you need to pull the trigger, good shot placement will be more important. Plus with the cheaper 9mm cartridge you can practice more at the range and doing other live fire drills. That being said, I've never shot anyone or been shot, so this is the conclusion I've drawn from things I've read or researched.
As far as carry guns though, I'm not crazy about Rugers. My friend had an Ruger that gave us a lot of problems when we would go out shooting. It was an older model, but the impression stuck hah. Have you handled any XDs lately? They're surprisingly comfortable for how blocky they are and you can pick em up under $500 used. I'm pretty anal about ergos.... I can't put in too much on reliability as I don't own one, but my friend edc's his .45 compact and shoots it a lot and he really likes it. He has massive hands too btw. Throwin some extra options out there.
